I apologise in advance if this post is gushy and rambling - I don't really have a purpose for it other than to document how I'm feeling at the moment. Because right now, I'm feeling content. For the first time ever, I'm so happy with how all of the aspects of my life are coming together. Sure, not everything is perfect. But everything is good. And I feel content enough to really appreciate that. I feel a little bit like constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone over the past few years has helped me to grow into a version of me I'm really comfortable with. Does that even make sense?!
One huge thing making me feel so content is finally having our own little house. I didn't really realise it at the time, but when I look back over the last couple of years I can see that so much of my headspace was taken up with worrying about whether our landlord would kick us out and put our house on the market, or fretting about the numerous house buying attempts that fell through. Our house is so far from perfect at the moment, but I feel so content knowing that it's ours. My brain feels that much calmer knowing that we don't have to worry about moving again for at least a couple of years.
And then, of course, there's the fact that I'm surrounded by so many ace people in my life. My family are unwavering and lovely and funny and honest and just what I always need. Sam is patient and thoughtful and excellent at looking after me (read: cooking me lots of food and making sure we always have wine at home). I've also been lucky enought to spend so much time with my all time besties recently which always makes me feel like the shiniest, sparkliest, most inspired version of myself. And I've also been hanging out with loads of ace internet folk, who I have so much in common with and love bouncing ideas off.
Like I said, I don't really know what the point of this post is, other than to say I'M HAPPY, YOU GUYS. I'm properly, fully, wonderfully content. Probably for the first time in my whole entire life. And I wanted to appreciate that, and recognise it, and feel grateful for it. Life is really good when you stop appreciate it.
And on that note, I wish you all a very lovely weekend!