How To Survive Your Twenties


As someone who has 6 years of being a twenty something under my belt, I can speak with experience when I say that often, IT'S HARD. It's a confusing, emotional, exciting, tiring, scary, wonderful time and sometimes it can feel like a struggle to even keep your head above water. After feeling very hormonal and crappy yesterday (I spent my entire day comparing my life to cute girls on Instagram and being mean to myself, cause, y'know, hormones) I thought I'd pull together this tongue in cheek guide of "how to survive your twenties".

It cheered me up so I hope it can do the same for you...

1) Accept that you will gain weight

Y'know when you were 18 and your Mum used to tell you to enjoy all of the junk food because one day your metabolism will slow down? Remember how you thought she was being all dramatic and ignored her? Well sadly the ol' metabolism tale is true and they do come to a grinding halt in your mid twenties. Rather than spending the rest of your life beating yourself up and going on countless diets, lets just accept that we'll probably never fit into those size 8 short shorts again and throw them away. You still look bloody gorgeous anyway.

2) Make sure you have an emergency supply of wine on hand at all times

There will be so many days in your twenties that will require wine. Like the days when your job has made you want to pack a backpack and board a plane to Timbuktu. Or the days when it feels like every person you went to school with is 76732% more successful than you. Or the days when you're having a crisis about what to do with your life. Those days can be soothed by a nice big glass of red wine, preferrably drank with your best pals while putting the world to rights.

3) Accept that you will never have enough money for everything you want

Your twenties is a bit of an odd decade in that you spend the first few years being like "wooooo, money, thank you full time job" and being so glad that you don't have to survive off a student loan anymore, and then all of a sudden, BAM, everyone is buying houses and going on holidays to Bali and you're like "help me, I'm poooooooor" (5 points to anyone who got the Bridesmaids reference). For sanity reasons, it's easier to just accept that you're probably not going to have enough money to do everything. If you really wanna buy a house, you might have to sacrifice those 5* holidays for a while. If you really want the new IT handbag, you might be confined to a staycation. Prioritise, is what I'm trying to say.

4) Know that it's still totally okay to cry to your Mum

Because no matter how old you get, Mums will always know the right thing to say at the right time. There is no shame in being a 26 year old who still sits on her Mum's knee for a good ol' cry - trust me, I am one. And I always feel better afterwards.

5) Understand that hangovers now feel like hell on earth

Remember when you were 18 and you could go our three nights on the bounce without even the faintest hint of a headache? Well, I'm sorry to tell you but those days are long gone. Hangovers in your twenties involve headaches so bad that you are almost certain you're going to die and a much higher percentage of throwing up. The only way to deal with them is to sleep a lot and count down the seconds until Dominoes opens so you can buy ALL the food. Accept that.

6) Realise that some people will assume you're shit at your job

Or you know, they'll feel threatened because you are good at your job AND young. One of the most annoying things about being in your twenties is that some of your older colleagues will assume that you can't be good at your job because blah blah you don't have as much experience blah blah. My only advice is to keep slaying it and prove 'em wrong - someone WILL notice and they won't care how young you are.

7) Have at least one friend who will tell it to you straight

This one is essential for surviving all of those existential crisis moments when you're like "wahhhh, should I quit my job or go travelling or should I go for that promotion at work and why am I so fat, etc etc". When you find yourself caught in that spiral of indecision and comparison you need that one friend who will tell you to stop moaning and ask you the difficult questions that you don't want to ask yourself. And if they're a really good friend they'll give you a cuddle afterwards and buy you wine.

8) Try and ignore social media

Okay this is the hardest one but totally the most important if you're going to survive your twenties. Sure, check Facebook and scroll Insta, but accept that social media is not the truth. Accept that social media is just someone's highlights reel. Behind every glamorous photo of someone posing on a beach in Thailand is someone crying because they're homesick. Behind every "yay I've just got a promotion!!!" tweet is years of serious graft and arguments with a shit boss. You can't compare your messy life, full of highs and lows, to someones cherry picked highlights if you're going to stay sane.