The Reality Of Being In Your Late Twenties
Remember when you were little and you thought that by the time you were 27 you'd be a real life adult who totally had their shit together? Remember when you thought that by now you'd probably be married with at least one kid, running your own business, living in a swoon worthy house and holidaying somewhere terribly exotic at least 3 times a year? Me too. And well, LOL. Let's all take a minute to laugh at how naive 10 year old me was.
Now that I've got a good few months of being 27 under my belt, I thought I'd write a little post about the reality of being in your late twenties. Spoiler: it's far less Sex in the City than I imagined and much more WTF?!?!
1) Gone are the days when a face wipe and a bit of moisturiser was an adequate skincare routine. By the time you reach your late twenties you'll need two cleansers, an acid toner, some eye cream and an intensive serum just to look half human.
2) Trying to maximise the number of holidays you can get out of your annual leave will become your new favourite puzzle. Gone are the days when holidays were a lovely little treat, now you need at least two a year to maintain any semblance of sanity.
3) The hangovers really are as bad as everyone says they will be. I'm sorry but it's true. If you haven't yet hit your late twenties then please don't take for granted the fact that you can drink more than two glasses of wine without the entire next day being a write off.
4) You will also be devastated to learn that that thing about metabolisms slowing down is true too. You'll only have to look at a carb to bloat to three times the size, which is pretty ironic considering all of the adulting means you need carb therapy more than ever.
5) A significant proportion of your salary and annual leave will now be spent attending weddings. By the time you've forked out for the hen do, hotel room, wedding pressie and a new outfit, you'll be skinter than you were in the student days.
6) You will buy less stuff from Primark and H&M because "it just doesn't wash very well". Those are actual words that will leave your mouth and yes, you will hate yourself for it.
7) Everyone will start to become very interested in when you might have a baby. It will freak you out how often people will remark "you'll be next!". Like, shhhhh, I'm still a child okay.
8) It will be physically impossible to start the day without a heavy dose of caffeine. It doesn't matter if you're already running 15 minutes late for work, you need that flat white for survival purposes.
9) You will spend an embarrassing amount of time scrolling Instagram or Facebook and wondering how everyone seems to have more money than you. Did they sell a kidney? Did they secretly win the lottery!?
10) Your choice of Friday night wine purchase will progress from whatever is the cheapest to the cheapest bottle with a fancy looking label. Still no more than a tenner though, obvs.
11) Facebook will regularly remind you that your student days are almost a decade behind you. This will make you feel even older than not being ID'd at the supermarket.
12) Babies will suddenly start to pop up within your friendship group and you will have to plan girls night around things like bath time routines and feeding. You will be freaked out.
13) You will quickly learn the best selfie angle for minimising your eye bags and wrinkles. It will sadden you greatly that this is a thing you need to know now.
14) It will still be pretty impossible to make any sort of life decision without consulting a "real grown up" (read: your mum or dad) first.
15) You and your friends will talk about doing more cultured things together, like going to museums or art galleries, but in reality will just get drunk and cry about how shit work is.
16) You will start to become really obsessed with interiors and making your house look Pinterest worthy, but your bank balance won't allow it to look like anything other than an IKEA showroom.
17) You'll have a lot less time for other people's bullshit. Genuinely not caring about what other people think will make all of the late twenty struggles worthwhile.