5 Ways To Be Kinder To Yourself Today
I've had a bit of a hard week this week. I've been incredibly busy at work, the grim weather and lack of daylight has been getting me down and my hormones seem to have set themselves a challenge to make me feel as rotten as possible. I've spent a lot of the week feeling overwhelmed and held back by self doubt, and I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be feeling the same way. I've seen so many of my clever, creative, kick-ass friends focusing on their flaws and putting themselves down, and it made me realise that maybe, we all just need to be a little bit kinder to ourselves.
And so that's what today's post is all about. A list of 5 ways we can all be a bit kinder to ourselves today - because right now, it feels like we need it...
1) Make a list of all the things you've achieved
Pretty much every single day, I make a "to do" list. I focus on everything still left to do before the week is over, but I rarely take a moment to stop and look back at what I've already achieved. It's no wonder we end up feeling overwhelmed when we're on a constant hamster wheel of work without so much as a two minute breather, is it? So a few weeks ago I started making a list of the things I've achieved at the end of the day - it's worked wonders for my confidence and made me realise that even if I don't get everything done every single day, I work bloody hard!
2) Do something just for you
Think about it - when was the last time you did something just for you? I think lots of us live our lives on autopilot, and as a chronic people pleaser, I know that days (or even weeks!) can go by without me stopping to do something just for me. I bounce from work, to blogging, to wife duties, to family commitments, to catch ups with friends, without ever slowing down and putting myself first. But this year I want to create a habit of doing something just for me everyday - whether it's treating myself to a long hot bath, or going to get my nails done, or just going to bed half an hour earlier and getting lost in a good book. I deserve it, and you do too.
I can't be the only person whose eyes are drawn to the parts of myself I like least whenever I look in the mirror, right? I feel like we're trained from a young age to focus on our "worst" bits and feel guilty about them (I'm totally thinking of that scene from Mean Girls...) and yet, focussing on the things you like instead is the best confidence builder in the world. I always try to make a conscious effort to pay myself a compliment whenever I look in the mirror - it can be something as simple as "your skin is looking better" or "nice dress!", but it makes me feel a million times better than worrying about whether my thighs will ever stop expanding.
4) Question your motives
When I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by life and like I can't keep up with my own to do list, one thing I like to do is stop and question my motives. I ask myself "what is it that I'm trying to achieve, and why?", and the answer is often illuminating. It's so easy to fall into the trap of wanting things because everyone else has them and putting a load of pressure on yourself to achieve them, but unless your hearts really in it, you're always going to feel like a fish out of water. Quite often I feel overwhelmed because I'm striving for things that aren't meant for me, and when I stop and question my motives, I realise that.
5) Remember that you're doing the best that you can
Last but by no means least, is a reminder to always remember that you're doing the best that you can. We all mess up sometimes - whether it's forgetting a friend's birthday or missing a deadline at work. Life is full of bumps and challenges, and we can't be perfect all of the time - we're humans, not robots. Forgive yourself when things go wrong and cut yourself a little bit of slack. We're all trying our best, and that should be enough.
There you go - 5 ways you can be kinder to yourself today. I'd love to hear if you already do any of the things on the list, or if you have any other top tips!